I’ve been feeling under the weather. Everyone suggests that I go see my GP, but they don’t understand. I just can’t. The GP wouldn’t know what to do with me. I don’t even think I would fit through the door.
It’s time I confessed something. I’ve lied to you all for so long, I don’t know where to start. My family, my friends, my readers, none of you know the truth. It’d been hard hiding it from you. Please don’t judge me too harshly. All right. Here it goes.
For the longest time, everyone has known me as Samuel C. My real name is Sentient Car, or SC for short. I am not a human. I am a car that gained sentience after being driven into a nuclear power plant. There are two reasons I can’t go to the doctor. Firstly, I am a car. Secondly, I fear that the radiation which emanates from me would kill everyone there. Unfortunately, that second complication prevents me from seeing even the best car mechanic as well.
My life is a mess. To my family, from whom I have hidden this for so long, I am sorry. It’s not fair that Sam Jr., Tiffany and Big Engine have grown up not being told the truth. I’m sure their half-car DNA has led to much scorn and bullying over their schooling years. I wish I’d had the courage to speak to them, and I am so ashamed of myself. I don’t even remember the last time I got a roadworthy certificate. Frankston is a scary place, and I’m too shy to get one in any other town. I don’t know if I could. Not after the accident. Surely the mechanics would see the nuclear ooze dripping from my exhaust and pronounce me road-unworthy. Soon after they’d probably drop dead from radiation sickness, or gain extra limbs.
That’s the truth. I hope that you can all forgive me for keeping this from you. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to write. Please make it worth the pain.
-Sentient Car (Formerly Samuel C)