The Confession

I’ve been feeling under the weather. Everyone suggests that I go see my GP, but they don’t understand. I just can’t. The GP wouldn’t know what to do with me. I don’t even think I would fit through the door. It’s time I confessed something. I’ve lied to you all for so long, I don’t …

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Sewage Snail

I’ll let you in on a little secret: I used to be a snail. Bound to the earth, my worldview was limited, literally. It should be no surprise that I hated it. Few of us snails enjoy our miserable existence. We were always hunting different ways of freeing ourselves, but none of them worked. There …

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Indoor/Outdoor

I’ve got this idea in mind for an outdoor kitchen. Not just a makeshift pizza oven with a fire pit and some bench seating, but the whole shebang. I’m envisaging a fully realised contemporary kitchen and dining area, decked out with all the latest appliances – except outside. It’ll be on a covered patio, but …

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Kind of a Big Heel

What do people have against high heels? Honestly, I don’t get it. Everyone says it will catch up with me when I’m older, but I’m nearly 20 – how much older can you get? If I haven’t caught plantar fasciitis by now, surely I’m immune to it. Right? My granddad is always going to the …

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Off the Whales

When is Wayne going to let up on this idea? Sure, a whale watching pavilion sounds good in theory, but as part of a commercial development? I’m not convinced. What has whale watching got to do with financial apps, which are our primary product? I mean, I get it. Wayne’s stuck on this thing about …

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Career-view Mirror

Today my fourteen year old son came home from school and told he’d had his first careers class. He reckons he’s decided to go into back-end development. I suggested that maybe he’s a bit young to be sure of something like that, after which he refused to talk to me for the rest of the …

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Scam’s the Word

Everything in life is, potentially, a scam. Parents? Scam. What’s with them loving me unconditionally, giving birth to me and raising me for two decades, without expecting anything in return? There’s gotta be a catch of some kind. Charities? Just giving away food and flying overseas to build homes in the mountains? Nah, they gotta …

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The Office Monarch

Oho, the chance to become a true leader! While I still don’t agree with the way things are done in this realm – namely, people earning positions of power through merit rather than simply being born with royal blood – I’ll take advantage of their foolishness where I can, becoming the leader of… oh, maybe …

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