I’ve been feeling under the weather. Everyone suggests that I go see my GP, but they don’t understand. I just can’t. The GP wouldn’t know what to do with me. I don’t even think I would fit through the door. It’s time I confessed something. I’ve lied to you all for so long, I don’t …
I guess I’m a plumber now. I don’t really know how to explain it. It was the weirdest thing. Someone on the street just came up to me and dumped a box at my feet. “What’s all this?” I asked. The stranger spat a piece of chewing gum out as if he was in a …
I’ll let you in on a little secret: I used to be a snail. Bound to the earth, my worldview was limited, literally. It should be no surprise that I hated it. Few of us snails enjoy our miserable existence. We were always hunting different ways of freeing ourselves, but none of them worked. There …
I’ve got this idea in mind for an outdoor kitchen. Not just a makeshift pizza oven with a fire pit and some bench seating, but the whole shebang. I’m envisaging a fully realised contemporary kitchen and dining area, decked out with all the latest appliances – except outside. It’ll be on a covered patio, but …
What do people have against high heels? Honestly, I don’t get it. Everyone says it will catch up with me when I’m older, but I’m nearly 20 – how much older can you get? If I haven’t caught plantar fasciitis by now, surely I’m immune to it. Right? My granddad is always going to the …
When is Wayne going to let up on this idea? Sure, a whale watching pavilion sounds good in theory, but as part of a commercial development? I’m not convinced. What has whale watching got to do with financial apps, which are our primary product? I mean, I get it. Wayne’s stuck on this thing about …
Today my fourteen year old son came home from school and told he’d had his first careers class. He reckons he’s decided to go into back-end development. I suggested that maybe he’s a bit young to be sure of something like that, after which he refused to talk to me for the rest of the …
Originally, I had no problem with these new Euro-garages. I’m willing to try new things, even if none of the mechanics smile or speak English, and you have to reverse into your designated spot for some reason, and I get the feeling that they’re judging me for not dressing up when dropping off my car. …
Oho, the chance to become a true leader! While I still don’t agree with the way things are done in this realm – namely, people earning positions of power through merit rather than simply being born with royal blood – I’ll take advantage of their foolishness where I can, becoming the leader of… oh, maybe …
All my life I’ve admired forms of art that last. You’ve got the pyramids, yes…they’re kind of the gold standard for building something that people are still going to be poring over thousands of years from now. The Sistine Chapel is alright, I suppose, but they had to spend an absolute fortune restoring the painting …